Jury Duty Fun

So I got the thing in the mail for Jury Duty. They have it worked out so you call in during a specific week and they let you know if you have to come in. I had a high number, so I was figuring it all week, and hoping I would not get called.

Naturally, on the one day Shabbos starts earlier than any other time of the year, I get called in for Friday. Heart in hand, and a large book in my bag, I head over to the Court building. Metal detector, etc., and into a large room, where they hand us brochures that include a jury word find. Go figure.

They run this unbelievably hokey film containing various news "journalists" talking about how far we have progressed since the days of the Trial by Ordeal. [ed. - I did try to find a reliable site about TbO, but came up empty.] I have a vague Grad-school memory of it being largely an ecclesiastical exercise rather than criminal/civil, so Ed Bradley's contention that all in the Middle Ages was dunking seats and walking on hot coals seemed a bit overplayed. Especially the guy in the video slowly sinking under the water, which lacked only the cartoony "blub, blub" sounds.

Anyway, I tell the nice lady collecting our tickets that as a Sabbath Observer I need to hit the road no later than 3 PM (remembering again that Shabbos starts at 4:10.) "No problem" she says, and about 15 minutes later my name gets called over the loudspeakers. Troop off to Room #2, where four lawyers are gathered. Everybody's name goes in the bingo hopper, and out comes... Yours Truly, for slot #6 in the rogue's gallery.

The rest of the morning is a haze of repeating the same questions to everybody - where are you from, you married, kids, blood type, social security #, the whole deal. Punctuated every 15 minutes by the four bloodsuckers legal types stepping out to conference. Everybody with an excuse has to talk to them privately. Including the guy who can't speak English.

So what's a guy who doesn't want to be on JD do? Act all obnoxious, or say something nasty about a race or religion? Not likely in a room full of complete (and to that point, friendly) strangers. So I gave the best answers I could. And sat. And sat. And sat. By the 12:30 lunch break I've been in the chair for 2 1/2 hours, and I figure I'm screwed - I'm on this jury for a week or more right in the middle of big work project, etc.

Come back at 2 PM, fiddle around a bit more, and finally lawyers leave for conference # 298, 375. Back in ten minutes, call the six of us out. Mr. Jury Office Man says - "you four, go home" Relief and joy, wait twenty minutes to get the get out of jail free card (good for six years locally, 2 years federally), brief thank-you from the ticket lady to our veterans, and home like a madman.

I should say that I know the jury system is a wonderful thing, and is critical to democracy, and billions of people would love to have this opportunity for justice. It's selfish, but I'm still glad I don't have to actually serve on the jury. Welcome to my contradictions.