Thursday, February 28, 2008


More of the same. Confused orders. Deadlines moved up suddenly to yesterday. No communication at all. Negative messages stated outright - while not to me directly, by extension it all applies to me as well.

You know what else? I'm bored. I imagine there are things I need to do, but I don't feel like finding out what they are. I suppose I could clean up around here, but at the best of time that's not terribly motivating.

Sorry to kvetch, but there's not much else to do.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I know

it's bloody late, but I played hockey so I'm still up. Anyway, some positive developments today regarding opportunities available. Means nothing until it means something, but there's some hope and that's a good thing.

Incidentally, on a completely unrelated note, strange things happen when you mistype things. Should you happen to type "" (note the transposed letters) you end up at something referred to as a "mega site of Bible studies and information."

It also suggests (not that I read very carefully) that my lack of faith in Jesus is likely to doom me to eternal damnation or some such overly warm final embrace.

Strange place this internets, and odd that anyone would waste the time to squat on a variation of this useless drivel center. Still, I suppose it keeps them occupied in between doses of medication.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Needless to say

No such luck. There is a new normal, and I've just had to learn to deal with it. So I do whatever I absolutely have to, and no more. I listen to stupid comments and keep my mouth shut. I get unnecessary instructions, and I just say "OK."

It's a dumb way to live, I grant you, but it's a way to survive.

Oh, did I mention I also got sick as a dog about two weeks ago? Two days of 102 fever, followed by all sorts of nasty side effects, including gums so swollen I couldn't eat. I have no idea what the Lord might have in mind for me, but if He's trying to tell me something I have to say it would be easier to grasp some of the messages if they'd come in one at a time.

If the Frogs or Locusts show up looking for me, tell them I'm unavailable please.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Peaceful interlude

All the above (or below, whichever) was interrupted for the most part blissfully by a vacation in mid-January. The in-laws were kind enough to sponsor a trip down south, to beautiful Lake Buena Vista, Florida.

Why, yes, I believe there are a few things to visit down in that part of the world. Something about a Mouse...?

So we did the Disney thing, and everyone had a good time. We did nothing but Disney - the kids are a little young and a lot too fraidy-cat to try Universal, and there was plenty to do in Walt's kingdom anyway.

Short version: Disney Hollywood Studios (nee MGM Studios) on Monday, Magic Kingdom on Tuesday, Epcot on Wednesday, Animal Kingdom on Thursday, and back to Magic Kingdom on Friday. A Princess Breakfast, lots of characters signing autograph books, gift shop after gift shop after gift shop. We actually kept much of the spending to a minimum, and having the in-laws with us helped a lot.

It was a nice change of pace, and by the middle of the week I was actually able to forget about work a bit. I deliberately left the laptop home, and didn't check email or voicemail all week. At that point I figured there was really nothing I could or would do about work anyway. My other thought was to see if a little time and distance would help and maybe life would go back to normal.

What the Hell????

This is a part of my life where I want to be a little circumspect. It remains in the state that began six weeks ago, and changes to it may take some time. Talking too much about it (and certain people managing to find out about it) could create even more headaches, and there's enough going on right now. Should things happen as I'd like, I will explain more clearly in the future.

You may recall changes were made professionally - someone got fired who deserved it, and all was to be well.

Oh how wrong a person can be.

Things are not well; discussions of important benefits to me went from Topic A to Topic Z. Rude, thoughtless, and ignorant comments have been directed to me and others, and for no reason we can fathom. I am tainted by association, and I believe the reason for the change has nothing to do with me or my work.

Naturally this all began right in the middle of the crisis with Dad. No one's even asked how he is in weeks. The timing could have been much, MUCH better. Either way, the writing is on the wall. I don't even think they know they're sending the messages they are, but I'm reading them loud and clear anyway.

I am taking the steps I have been forced to take, and with luck I will make my own change. The sad part is, and the one thing I will not forgive, is that they made me not care. I loved where I was, and they made me not only hate it, but not give a damn, and that's something I can't forgive.

Where to begin?

How to explain the 180-degree turn in my life over the last six weeks? Things that were no longer are, and things that were not suddenly have become.

Cryptic? You betcha. Paranoid, me?

You have no idea.

Seems safest to begin at the beginning, with one of the two scheduled items for the new year. Dad had been to the doctor last Sep or Oct, and they saw something they didn't entirely like. So I recommended he go talk to one of the guys here, world-renowned for that particular part of the anatomy. The long & short was scheduled surgery for early January. So Pop goes in, figuring on a 3-5 day stay in the hospital, then 4-6 weeks recovery.

So here comes the first curveball, and it's a doozy. He's in for a few days, and if anything he seems worse as time goes on, not better. I'm there every night till 9-10PM, my brother's there all day (including, heroically, staying by himself there for Shabbos so dad would have company.) Sunday night he is in terrible pain, and Monday they tell us they're taking him in for emergency surgery in an unrelated area. I am now running all kinds of insane, paranoid fantasies in my head that he's not going to survive.

Happily, none of them came true. The second surgery went well, and Pop was quickly on the mend. He's home and recuperating now, and while he's looking older (and thinner) than he did before, he's mostly himself again. I think he's getting a little depressed, but he's been on the shelf for a long time, so I don't blame him.

So, that was stress enough, without...