Oh, those wacky Brits

For my first interesting post, I'll redirect you to the paragon of Socialist journalism, the Guardian. (WARNING: Foul Language Included, and thanks to Jonah Goldberg at the Corner for the link)

While I appreciate that the British have a decided interest in the upcoming US Election, I very much resent the idea that they have a better idea of what it is we in the US need in our president. I don't think the nasty, obscene response is justified, but I do think they should know that we don't really need their help. With that in mind, I have composed the following response to the Guardian. Maybe I'll even send it to them:

Dear Concerned Citizen of the United Kingdom,

Thank you very much for your interest in our upcoming presidential election. We realize you have a choice of which election to meddle with, and we are grateful for your desire to participate. We are, however, quite unable to process your intrusion at this time. We have quite filled our quota of irritating, leftist do-gooders at this point. Should Michael Moore or Noam Chomsky expire prior to November 2nd, 2004 we will be sure to let you know.

We would like to point out as well that we would prefer that you rectify errors in your own representative democracy prior to attempting to adjust ours. We understand that you are stuck with Socialist Prats like Ken Livingstone, but we think that's your responsibility. We also note that we have rejected your form of Constitutional Socialism (see Battle of Yorktown, Decisive American Victory of) more than 200 years ago, and we are not prepared to reconsider that decision.

Please note that this will in no way affect our efforts in the War on Terror. We are fully prepared to remove your chestnuts from the fire. We will allow you to revisit the glory days of our greatest hits - World War I, World War II, and the Defeat of Communism. We remain committed to the preservation of freedom and democracy, whatever the yellow-bellied Nancy Boys may whine about unilateralism and giving peace a chance. We're quite certain you won't get much assistance in promoting Liberty from the Islamo-fascists.

Sincerely,
The Citizens of the United States of America

PS Should you decide to become a citizen of the US, as millions of others have done happily (and legally) we will be delighted to extend you the franchise.

UPDATE: How's that for timing? Apparently today, 10/19 is the anniversary of the Battle. Sometimes you get lucky