Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It appears

the Muslim community wants another, bigger apology. (See here if you can stomach AP stupidity on the subject.)

I'm going to presume to respond for the Pope, with the response I think he should deliver. As we would say in New York, "Apologize this, Abdul." (With appropriate hand gestures.) I don't care what they think, and I don't think the Bishop of Rome should care either. In the first place, no more than five people on the Muslim street had ever heard of Manuel II Paleologus; and I'd be surprised at this point if the number has reached 50. I'm aware of him as a former medievalist, but since I confuse the Byzantine emperors routinely (well, as often as it comes up, anyway) I couldn't have told you beforehand if he was in 9th or the 14th century. The average member of the Religion of Peace (as Mel Brooks as Hitler put it in "To Be or Not to Be: "All I want is a little peace! A little piece of Poland, a little piece of France...") hasn't the faintest idea what the Pope said, or why old Manny knew what he was talking about.

In the second place, Benny has a point - these people want to kill us, and it's pointless to pretend otherwise. We need to be careful of offending these nutballs? How about an apology for the 3,000 dead civilians of 9/11? How about a nice, loud, "Al Qaeda is not Islam" from an Imam or three? Never happen, right? You know why? Because they're not sorry. They like jihad. They want a world without Christians, Jews, Buddhists, and probably half the Muslims (depending on their own orientation.) It's hard to satisfy people who want you dead.

So why bother apologizing? Apologize for existing? No thanks. What are you going to do now, try & kill us? What? We're putting ourselves more at risk than we were before? The Yahoo link above had a sidebar that Al Qaeda is planning more attacks because of the Pope. So if he hadn't mentioned an obscure Byzantine Emperor the whackos would be sitting nicely and offering us peace & love? Somehow I don't buy it.

So here's my fantasy version of Benedict's apology. He stands in St. Peter's Square, and says "If there are Muslims out there who are offended and want an apology, they can bend over and kiss my holy, white robed tuchus. I'll apologize when you quit murdering Christians, Jews, and anyone else that gets your panties twisted."

Think it'll happen?