Mr. Possum notes

over on his own blog-type place that ABC (All BS Communication) is asking viewers and computer surfers to tell them stories of how Global Warming is affecting them directly. Leaving aside the scientific problems with ABC's perception, well handled by Terry, it made me think of how beings actually affected by our planet's horrid downward spiral towards fiery destruction might respond.

So I present...

GLOBAL WARMING HORROR STORIES!!!!*

"Yeah, umm, hi, am I on? Yeah, so, I was just wandering along, minding my own business, y'know, eating a few prey, stomping around. I mean, y'know, dinosaur things, right? Then, outta nowhere, WHAM! this huge freakin' meteor comes flying down and BOOOOOM!, there's like clouds and dust and ash and stuff everywhere, right? So, like, overnight, there's no sun, the plants are dyin', and there's less things around to eat. And now, like, the government is turning ME into fossil fuel. Can you believe it? They're like, we all have to evolve, there's no problem, meantime all my cousins are lying in tar pits waiting to get found by Multinational bloodsucking Exxon or whatever. There's no justice."

Alternatively:

"Hi, I'm Gus, I'm a woolly Mammoth. I used to be able to wander around, stomp a few neanderthals, roll around in the mud, that kind of thing. Now, I'm just hot all the time. The humans want me to think it's just the natural cycle of our planet's existence, but I know this is all because Grak is in the pocket of the business interests. They just want to sell more animal pelts, and who cares what happens to the rest of us."

So there you have it. Global warming from those who know.

* All content is the exclusive property of ABC Cretacious Associates; no compensation will be provided to subjects we edit beyond recognition who never said what we make them say. Nyah Nyah Nyah.