I should point out

that I'm a confused, discombobulated, witless dope.

Relations are coming for shabbos, and we've known about this for weeks. We even have a menu written out by Weds night. Some of the things are cooked already.

And yet, knowing that I have to make both Cholent and Matzah Balls,* do I have all the ingredients I need for either? Well, I know you'll be surprised, but no, I don't. No meat for the cholent, no seltzer for the matzah balls.

What, I hear you cry, does that mean when Shabbos begins around 4:20?

It means that half the food still needs to be made and I will be a lunatic when I get home. Moreso than usual, of course. Well, the Lord does want us to appreciate the day of rest, and what better way to do that then spending Day of Rest Eve running around like the proverbial Gallus Domesticus, Decapita?

*It should be noted that Matzah Balls in Cholent is a tasty idea; take the uncooked dough, form into balls, and put into the cholent pot where they will cook overnight and end up delicious. Cholent in Matzah Balls, on the other hand, would be disgusting and the sort of sick, twisted thing that dopey, sophomoric "fusion" cooking types would come up with, and charge you $18 apiece for.