I’ve been debating

this post since yesterday. The subject is extraordinarily difficult to address, and there's a lot of history behind this - the way I was schooled, and the approach the school took to a lot of issues. I will say this - if you really don't want to read anything about child molestation, I suggest you skip this post. I won't be discussing it in any great detail, but it does figure in and I want you to be forewarned.

Let me say to start that I have never personally been molested, nor do I know anyone who has been, thank God. But there is a story that has broken here in New York recently about a multimillion dollar lawsuit that's been filed against a rabbi here. To protect certain shreds of my anonymity I won't link to any articles, but the industrious among you can find it if you try. The rabbi has been accused, not for the first time, of molesting young men, several of them, and on numerous occasions.

You might reasonably ask why I choose to discuss this here. A terrible story, surely, but not my usual fare. It's a good question, and I have a good answer: I know the accused personally. I went to the school where he taught and served as an administrator (still does, in fact.) I went to the camp where he was Head Counselor and part owner. This one strikes extremely close to home, and raises a number of issues for me, and I feel the need to write about what it means to me and the broader Orthodox Community. Naturally this is my blog - if the subject doesn't work for you, there's lots of other reading out there.

These rumors have been floating around for years. So much so that I am inclined to believe the man is guilty. Unfair? Perhaps. But one complaint? Two? Could be people with issues against the guy. Multiple complaints? A person coming out in the open and putting his name on the case? Dan l'kav zchut - give the benefit of the doubt - only goes so far. No, I can't say the guy is guilty, but it frankly looks too suspicious for my tastes.

I want to deal with the molester himself first - it's the easy part. This is a person (yes, please insert "allegedly" throughout - it's too legalistic an approach for me in such a serious circumstance) who used his power and position to hurt children. Who held the title of rabbi, meaning his conduct needed to be higher than the average person. Who violated children physically, violated their relationship and trust, violated the trust placed in him by parents. When I think that I was in a position where I could have been a victim, or that friends of mine might have been and I never knew it, I don't have a lot of sympathy.

Above all, he's a person with a serious mental problem. Sexual desire is normal, but it sometimes expresses itself in non-normal ways. People have all sorts of desires, and most of us control our less ideal desires. Not everyone can, and thus you get predators. They need help, and one hopes they get it. Do I absolve him of guilt for having a problem? Not at all - he had an obligation as a moral person, as a Jew, and as a rabbi, to remove himself from any involvement with children. A good Torah Jew removes himself from temptation as much as possible, especially when one's actions will harm the life of another person. His guilt lies as much with continuing work in education, where temptation was all around him.

But his actions are those of a sick person, who allowed his desires to control him and not the other way around. It's hard to expect a mentally disturbed person to control himself, though he should have. The resolution of this, regardless of the court results, will be between him and God, and the Lord will take care of it in His own time and way. Perhaps he is indeed innocent, and God will reward him for patience in dealing with these circumstances.

What I'd like to deal with in the next post is, to my mind, far more serious long-term for Orthodox Judaism.